Monday 17 November 2014

Men isnt an exemption Domestic Violence Against Men: Why We Need To Pay More Attention To Vulnerable Males

A person has been attacked by their partner - they've been beaten with a hammer, scalded with boiling water and had bleach sprayed into their eyes. They are physically and emotionally scarred forever.

As you read about this incident of domestic violence you're probably picturing a female victim, but this describes the abuse a man suffered at the hands of his ex-girlfriend.

While women are the majority gender that suffer at the hands of domestic violence - the ratio is less of a gulf than you might think.

In England and Wales 38% of domestic abuse victims are male - for every five victims, three will be female, two will be male.

In Scotland between 2012 and 2013 there were over 60,000 incidents of domestic abuse reported to the police. Of these, over 10,000 were recorded by the police as having a male victim.

It's rarely spoken about in the media, and at the worst end of the spectrum, people actually joke about it.

We would never say a woman 'brought it on herself' so why do some of us make the assumption that a man who is abused by a woman is weak?

Ian McNicholl, 51, revealed the shocking truth about his abusive relationship with Michelle Williamson to HuffPost UK Lifestyle.

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"Michelle undid three decades of career planning - the day before I met Michelle I was running my own successful business, I was able-bodied, I was a homeowner with significant equity and I was close to my friends and family.

"Following my relationship with Michelle, my house was repossessed, I was homeless for 18 months and I’m now registered as disabled. I have multiple scars and I’m still awaiting surgery from the NHS five years after Michelle’s trial," he says.

The myth that domestic abuse is something that happens to women can make it more difficult for male victims to come forward, or even identify the abuse themselves.

"If you see only see court cases on the news where women are the victims, as a man it's hard to recognise that what’s going on in your relationship is domestic abuse," McNicholl says.

"While I always knew the violence was wrong, it was what I call the ‘grooming phase’ that I definitely didn’t recognise. Michelle took possession of my MONEYand she cut me off from my family - it seem obvious now, but it didn't at the time."

Chairman of ManKind Mark Brooks says when a man is a victim of domestic abuse, he'll often display a loss of confidence and seem uncharacteristically nervous. He'll also likely become far more insular and will gradually become cut off from his social circle.

"A male victim's behaviour will change in the same way a woman's does when she is a victim, but society - friends, family, work colleagues, even GPs - is more attuned to thinking that a change in a woman’s behaviour could be a sign of domestic abuse, than if a man changes his behaviour," he adds.



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